MEMORIES OF AN OVERLORD
by Victar (vctr113062 [at] aol [dot] com)
Victar's Archive: https://www.vicfanfic.com
"So many people asked me, 'Why?'
"They were my best friends, so I should know, right? 'Why?'
"But I didn't hear 'Why did they do it?' in my head.
"What I kept hearing was, 'Why weren't you with them?'
"Sometimes I also heard, 'Why didn't you stop them?' Other times I heard, 'Why weren't you the first to do it?'"
Chapter Three
Memories of a Savior: Dereliction of a Savior
In the late night hours of the day that Kreisia's most unlikely Savior demanded to be sent back to his home world, he paced, stormed, and sprinted through the Royal Castle in a whirlwind of turbulent emotion, and confronted his three companions.
Laminah Thor, the warrior pledged to his service, coldly declared that she would continue the war against Orzand with or without him.
Cynthia Klaus, the Priestess of Salvation, apologized and promised to reverse her summon spell as soon as dawn broke.
Unable to truly scream at either of them, the derelict Savior unleashed the full volume of his rage upon Anemos Monochrome, the bard pledged to his service.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, ANEMOS!?" Yusis shrieked, his voice almost cracking. "The Savior becomes the next Overlord? The Savior's companions die and turn into monsters? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME!? It's not like Cedric would have executed anyone for disobeying his gag order! He wouldn't even dish out a slap on the wrist!"
"A royal order is no trifle," the bard contemplated. "There are substantial restrictions to what the king may decree, but within those restrictions, his commands are law. King Cedric Welkin in particular is so widely beloved that almost no one would willfully repudiate him. Yet, I suspect the order's true purpose was less to serve as a mandate, and more to advise the populace of your unusual situation. On the night we first met, I wondered whether anyone would dare to tell you the cycle's price."
"Anemos, I learned the truth from Begiad! Why is that murdering, psychopathic tyrant the only one who could tell me!?"
"I can only answer for myself." The bard strummed the strings of his lute, playing a beautiful, haunting nocturne.
Yusis struggled to tune out the music, because it was starting to calm his frenzy. "Fine. TELL ME WHY!"
"I had three reasons. The first was that I was Begiad's agent, sent to track, manipulate, and eventually abduct you. The less you knew, the better."
"Yeah, okay."
"I did not learn about the worst of Begiad's depravity until after I met you, but I knew how pitiless he was to my own people. I served him regardless, out of fear and despair.
"You changed that, Yusis.
"You would not let Laminah strike me down for high treason, and you forgave all my betrayals. Cynthia and Laminah have also chosen to forgive me; they both expressed the sentiment when the three of us discussed assorted matters earlier tonight. Cynthia's clemency surely originates from her inherent compassion, but I am certain that your influence is what persuaded Laminah to give me another chance."
Yusis folded his arms. "So, what's the second reason?"
"On the day I met Laminah, I swore to her upon my honor that I would not inform you prematurely."
"Third reason?"
"I did not want the dream to end." Anemos sighed, and closed his eyes in a peaceful expression. "Our journey together has been the happiest time of my life. I do not regret keeping secrets, Yusis. Every day I hid the truth was another day I spent with all of you."
Yusis unfolded his arms, and held out both hands in a gesture of incredulity. "Anemos, are you really fine with turning into an undead thing that tries to kill anyone it used to know?"
"I do not mind if I am with Laminah." The bard showed a whisper of a smile. "I will set out with her and Cynthia tomorrow, after you return to your world."
"Wait - you're going to fight Orzand along with Laminah?"
"Yes."
"Cynthia, too?"
"Do you truly find this surprising? You should not."
"But you won't have a Savior with you."
"The spell to summon an off-world Savior is quite unique, as I understand it. Cynthia cannot summon a second Savior. Perhaps a different priestess could, but most likely not. Summoning you took far too long, and in all the time of our journey, no one has summoned another Savior."
"So even if you somehow defeat Orzand..."
"Perhaps it will precipitate the end of the world. However, Yumarac's teachings warn us that if the Savior chosen to wield the Holy Brand is destroyed, then Orzand will drown all of Kreisia in a torrential miasma flood. It is quite rational to presume that the Savior's departure will have the same result. Laminah would rather fight to the end, and Cynthia supports her. Who am I to deny their desire?"
"This is all so messed up!" Yusis clenched his hands, turned his face away, and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Yusis, if you must return to your home world, then so be it. I have no cause for grievance against you. All I ask is that you be certain you will have no regrets. Regrets are a terrible burden to carry."
"Anemos, I really did want to help people, to save Kreisia. Risking my life to fight monsters is one thing, but this - this is-!" Yusis trembled, and shook his head with sharp, whiplike motions. "This is a suicide pact!"
The bard opened his eyes. Puzzlement crossed his face. "Ah, what-?"
"You heard me!" Yusis yelled, glaring at him.
"I am familiar with the term 'pact', but I do not understand the other word you spoke."
Yusis uncertainly studied the bard's confusion. "Anemos, you're planning to either 'fight to the end', or die and become a Lesser Seal."
"That is correct."
A soundless reproach from the Holy Brand Aldea, the legendary, sentient weapon wielded by every Savior of Kreisia's ten-year cycle, rang sharply in Yusis' mind.
*He speaks of choosing to sacrifice his life and more for a greater purpose, the valiant defense of Kreisia. That is not what 'suicide' is, and you know it, 'Savior'. Do not explain it to him. You would corrupt this world with an idea manifested from hatred of life.*
"Aldea...?" Yusis touched the hilt of Holy Brand, resting in the sheath on his hip. He felt an intangible wave of contempt wash over him.
"Is the Holy Brand speaking only to you?" Anemos mused. "It has nothing to say to me, at present."
"Anemos, I need to talk to Aldea."
"As you wish."
Yusis withdrew to a secluded alcove of the Royal Castle, where he could privately communicate with the Holy Brand.
*Sound can carry farther than you may think. Do not use your voice for this conversation.*
Fine, Yusis sharply thought back. I want some honest answers from you too, Aldea.
*I have never lied to you, nor shall I.*
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ANYTHING!?
*Your question is ludicrously redundant. I did not inform you about the destiny of the Savior and his companions because you were not ready to learn it. I would have elucidated before much longer. Only a willing, off-world Savior can become the Greater Seal on Kreisia's miasma.*
You mean, become the next Overlord.
*The Overlord's undead body is the Greater Seal.*
Aldea, does suicide really not exist in Kreisia? Not even the idea of it? You've mentioned euthanasia before.
*The concept of merciful euthanasia is understood in present-day Kreisia, but self-termination purely for its own sake is virtually unknown. The Kreisian language does not have a word for it. Historians may be aware of exceptionally rare incidents among early generations of the Alteans. Even the most erudite Kreisian scholars would find the phenomenon nearly incomprehensible. You must not speak openly about it.*
Refusing to talk about suicide doesn't stop it from happening. Staying silent or doing nothing makes it more likely to happen.
*That is true of your world. Kreisia is not the same.*
What makes Kreisia different?
*Do you know why only an off-worlder can become the Greater Seal, and bring Kreisia ten years of peace from miasma and monsters? Why a Greater Seal formed from a native Kreisian would not last more than a few minutes, or perhaps a few days if that Kreisian were an Altean?*
Maybe I have a guess. It has something to do with how I can feel things from miasma, doesn't it?
*That is merely evidence of what lies within. Only the soul of an off-worlder like you is corrupt enough to hold Kreisia's miasma within a stable Greater Seal.*
You've been calling me 'corrupt' since the day we met, but I'm just an ordinary person. I'm not a criminal.
*You are a coward who would abandon the friends and the world that need you.*
That makes me 'corrupt'?
*It makes me despise you, but the full answer is that you are 'not a criminal' by your own choice. Though you have not personally committed the hate-filled, destructive atrocities that exist on other worlds, you are capable of them. Hatred of life is a part of you, and you determine whether that corruption dominates your actions, or not. Kreisians are not the same as you.*
Begiad.
*That one was an Altean, a descendant of my creator. You are aware that my creator was an off-worlder, are you not?*
Yeah.
*Like you and all of Kreisia's Saviors, my creator had to control his off-world corruption. His progeny, the Alteans, have intermarried with Kreisia's native Lunarls and Vargs for generations. Altean throwbacks are uncommon, and quite diluted compared to pure-blooded off-worlders. Even the more concentrated Altean throwbacks nearly always keep their corruption under control.*
Begiad didn't.
*I have never encountered a case that severe before.*
Is my 'corruption' why almost no one in Kreisia could comprehend what a psychopath like Begiad is, but I did?
*It is also why you are the only one who can protect Kreisia from an evil that is not present in any other world... yet.*
The miasma. And Orzand.
*Those are two aspects of the same menace.*
I have to think about all this...
*Then here is one more thing for you to think about.
*The Altean throwback you loathe so greatly was not a 'psychopath'. Not as buried knowledge within your own mind defines the term. He was not born incapable of empathy, and he was not always the tyrannical murderer he became.
*Forty years ago, when that Altean throwback was only slightly older than you are now, he pledged himself to the Savior's service. He was the Savior's dear and trusted friend, until he deserted his duty like a coward.
*Perhaps the horrific slaughter caused by his dereliction completely unhinged him.
*Will the horrific slaughter caused by your dereliction completely unhinge you?*
Yusis paced back and forth, in the hours before dawn.
Anemos said I should be certain I'll have no regrets. If I abandon my friends, if I let Kreisia drown in miasma, I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life. They need a Savior from another world. They need me, and there's no one else who can do it.
They asked me for help. This time, I know I'm being asked for help; I know there's something I can do.
I could look for a way to break Kreisia's cycle. We could all search together, but there's no guarantee we'll succeed. If we find nothing, then we'll have to - I'll have to-!
I don't want to die. I'm not that messed up, I've never been that miserable, even at my worst I've never wanted to-!
I'm scared of dying. Absolutely terrified.
I'm only seventeen, I've never even kissed a girl! I've never-!
I've never...
I've never accomplished much of anything, have I?
Yusis flipped through his memories.
I've never cared for much other than having fun and hanging out with friends. Watching TV, reading comics, playing video games.
I'm close to flunking out of my senior year of high school. Whether I graduate or not, I have no idea what I'll do afterward. Work some awful retail job for minimum wage?
I've never had any goals that I wanted to achieve, other than beating video games on the highest difficulty setting. When I competed in fighting game tournaments, I wasn't serious about earning first place.
I've barely even tried to get dates. I rarely asked anyone out in high school, never put effort into any offer I made, and skipped junior prom. So the 'never kissed a girl' part is completely on me, isn't it?
This quest to save Kreisia is way, way beyond anything else I can picture doing with my life. A whole world full of people is at stake, but if I die in Kreisia...
Mom...
Her last words to me were, 'Come back home to us.'
And Dad...
Yusis thought of tuning out countless lectures from his workaholic, salesman father, a man he could barely talk to or get along with.
If I never came home, Dad would handle it better than Mom. He would look after her.
If he knew the choice I have to make, he would understand it better than she would...
He once taught me that sometimes the only bargain is a hard bargain. Sometimes the deal isn't about whether the price is too high to pay. Sometimes the deal is about getting the best possible return for the price that has to be paid.
Have I made myself a little more like him than I used to be?
A dark realization formed in the depths of Yusis' mind.
I think the smallest, most evil corner of me would relish becoming the Overlord, as a way to show up Dad. How 'corrupt' is that?
By the last hour before dawn, the eyes of Kreisia's most unlikely Savior were dark and puffy from lack of sleep. He flinched from the Holy Brand's unbridled scorn, as he touched its hilt.
Aldea...
*I am listening.*
I've thought about staying on Kreisia before, but I never really... thought it all the way through.
*I am aware of that.*
If I... can't go back home... could you send a message to my parents? So they're not left wondering what happened to me?
The harsh sensation of Aldea's contempt receded.
*You are not the first Savior to make that type of request. I will tell you what I told the others. My creator warned me against instigating any contact between Kreisia and other worlds. Kreisia's miasma is too great a threat to other worlds, and the corruption of other worlds is too great a threat to Kreisia. Your loved ones cannot know your fate.*
But, I don't... I don't want them to think that I...
*A message would not significantly alter their understanding of who you are, how you feel about them, and what you would or would not do to yourself. The spell to summon a Savior could not have called you if your disappearance would destroy anyone on your world.*
Are you sure about that?
*Holy power exists to protect life. The summon spell draws heavily upon holy magic, and therefore excludes candidates whose departure would endanger the lives of others. The spell does not exclude candidates whose departure would cause pain, but not death. Pain is an indissoluble part of life itself.*
You say that, but can you even feel pain?
*Not in the sense that mortals do. Perhaps not at all, by mortal standards.*
At daybreak, Yusis found his three companions gathered in a single room. When he tried to address them, his voice was so hoarse that at first it gave out completely.
"Yusis, I'm ready to send you home," Cynthia trilled, unable to hide her sadness.
Yusis tried to make himself stand up straight and look at his companions' faces, but his gaze quickly drifted to the floor. "No. Not doing that. Change of plans. Sorry for the total breakdown. I'm staying. I'm the Savior. I'm saving Kreisia, and everyone in it.
"I'm sorry I treated all of you like dirt. I want to say I'll never do it again, but I can't risk lying to you on top of every other disgusting thing I did. All I can say for sure is I'm saving Kreisia, no matter what.
"I really am sorry..."
"Yusis," Anemos gently addressed. "You have decided to save our world. Do not hold any regrets over how you arrived upon that decision."
Laminah stated, "Every warrior must accept the shadow of death, and worse than death. When I first set eyes on you, I knew that you were not a warrior. Today, you have taken a great step closer to becoming one."
Cynthia hugged him.
Yusis' eyes widened. He kept his arms by his sides and looked away, awkwardly.
Cynthia squeezed him with surprising force for her small and slender frame. "All of Kreisia needs you, Yusis. I just wish-!"
"Uh, Cynthia - you're making it hard to talk - personal space?"
I have a wish, too. I wish I could hug you back, but the thought of what the future could hold hurts. It hurts, and it terrifies me.
She let him go and displayed a broad, sunny smile. He cleared his throat, and continued. This time, he was able to look at his friends' faces.
"Yeah, okay, here's the deal. Yeah, I'm seeing this through, even if we all have to become Seals, but this is not going to be a suicide pact-"
*Savior!*
"-uh, don't ask me what that word means, okay? Just don't. Anyway, we're all in this together, and we're not settling for 'ten years of peace'. We're finding a way to break the cycle, and lift the curse of the miasma forever!"
Anemos made an affirmative nod. "To end the depredations of the cycle has been my one and only dream for the future. Let us transform this dream into reality, together."
Laminah declared, "We will never surrender the war against Orzand. We will fight for total victory!"
Cynthia whispered, "We'll do it, Yusis. I know we will. Because you're with us." She clasped her hands and held them near her chest. Her eyes shined with heartfelt faith, befitting the Priestess of Salvation.
Yusis swallowed back a heavy lump in his throat. "I promise all of you, I'm going to protect this world..."
This world where suicide doesn't exist.
"...I'm going to protect Kreisia with all my heart. With all my soul. Even if it costs my life. Even if it costs more than that."
End of Chapter Three: Dereliction of a Savior