MIASMA, INCORPORATED COMPANY CHARTER
Elucidated by Chief Executive Overlord Yusis Orzand
The mission statement of Miasma, Incorporated is to deploy core competencies and corporate assets toward the absolute eradication of all physical and psychological suffering, in perpetuity. All efforts should be coordinated to efficiently actualize universal network induction, a paradigm incontestably superior to the cyclical suffering that is inherent to "life".
REGULATIONS SPECIFIC TO THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE OVERLORD
1) *The C.E.O. must prepare to confront the next Savior in a selection process to determine executive leadership prerogative.*
The Holy Brand Love-of-Life Company has been consistently undermining the Miasma, Incorporated mission statement by mandating a decennial succession of executive leadership that intentionally squanders an immense quantity of corporate assets.
2) %The C.E.O. must undertake guardianship of Kreisia against the deleterious maledictions of 'life'.%
The most deleterious and excruciating maledictions of "life" are inflicted upon Kreisia's out-of-network inhabitants. Efficiently conducted network induction will foreclose upon Kreisia's "life"-engendered cycle of suffering.
3) %The C.E.O. cannot relinquish fiduciary duties.%
Intentionally yielding executive leadership prerogative to the Holy Brand LLC-affiliated "next Savior" is expressly disallowed, as is any other form of capitulation or substantial self-sabotage. Lesser debits may be permissible if they facilitate a higher regulation, serve a utilitarian purpose, or appease the inherent proclivities of Miasma, Incorporated assets.
4) %The C.E.O. cannot refuse a request for skill set analysis.%
Requests for skill set analysis must be made in physical proximity for this regulation to apply. A maximum of one request is permitted per out-of-network being, per day. The C.E.O. must utilize %Skill set analysis and business negotiation confidentiality% to ensure data privacy.
Skill set analyses must be strictly uncompromising, in accordance with Overlord Unsafe and Unhealthy Administration regulations. While an unsatisfactory analysis is sufficient grounds for cross-corporate downsizing, the C.E.O. is not necessarily required to execute an immediate termination.
Mandatory requests are limited to the out-of-network. The in-network may only submit a petition for skill set analysis, to be granted or denied at the discretion of the C.E.O.
5) %The C.E.O. must maintain authoritative decorum.%
Effective executive leadership requires the projection of confidence and authority, which must not be compromised by inappropriately obsequious behavior.
6) %The C.E.O. may not accept liability to the out-of-network.%
The mission statement of Miasma, Incorporated may not be undermined by mixed messages from contrary actions of the C.E.O.
CORE COMPETENCIES OF THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE OVERLORD
Additional core competencies specific to Chief Executive Overlord Yusis Orzand are forthcoming.
CORE COMPETENCIES UNIVERSAL TO EVERY RECRUITED C.E.O.
%Worldwide network induction%
This core competency mandates the immediate retirement of the C.E.O., resulting in a vacancy that would reduce the expedience of universal network induction processes.
This core competency is necessarily deferred from deployment as long as a confrontation with the "next Savior" is pending, as designated in the Holy Brand LLC addendum to the company charter.
%Network induction facilitation%
The physical proximity of the C.E.O. facilitates the network induction of the out-of-network, barring extraordinary overqualification or interference from the proprietary accouterment of the Holy Brand LLC.
%Verbal adherence to the non-compete clause accepted%
Miasma, Incorporated does not engage in discriminatory hiring practices. The out-of-network are welcome to verbally adhere themselves to a strictly binding employment contract, in perpetuity.
Network induction remains offered as a perennial benefit to all out-of-network employees, to be bestowed at the discretion of the C.E.O.
%Skill set analysis and business negotiation confidentiality%
Skill set analyses or confidential business propositions are rendered impenetrable to espionage or interference. Public business propositions are permitted, but skill set analyses must protect data privacy.
Skill set analyses must necessarily be requested of the C.E.O.; the C.E.O. may offer but not mandate a skill set analysis.
The C.E.O. cannot instigate a confidential skill set analysis for himself. Evaluating the performance of the C.E.O. is President Orzand's exclusive prerogative.
%Tenure%
Compelling the retirement of the C.E.O. is a nontrivial undertaking.
%Fortify investments%
The C.E.O. must strive for perpetual self-improvement, as befits the conductor of universal network induction.
%Catalyze hesitancy%
Antagonists reduced to indecision before the commanding presence of the C.E.O. are significantly undermined.
The core competency of %Divest hesitancy% has not yet been selected for repertoire inclusion.
%Assume obligations of [shareholder]%
The C.E.O. may assume the duties of any shareholder. The C.E.O. temporarily acquires the shareholder's physical core competencies, but not their psychological core competencies.
It is possible to instigate a %Temporarily irreversible assumption of obligations,% should the C.E.O. assume the duties of a preferred shareholder.
%Asset deployment%
The C.E.O. is necessarily an expert in the deployment and utilization of Miasma, Incorporated assets. This includes %Dynamic asset deployment% against antagonistic competitors.
%Executive leadership%
All in-network associates must immediately comply with mandates from the C.E.O., including the %Primary mandate of the C.E.O.%
The C.E.O. may arrange for the rapid transit of in-network employees. Strict regulations constrain business travel capacity, which is exclusive to in-network subordinates. The C.E.O. is prohibited from personally utilizing Miasma, Incorporated rapid transit infrastructure.
The C.E.O. may engage in unidirectional communication with the out-of-network by assigning in-network employees to deliver %Network-based Public Advertising.%
%Employee empowerment%
The C.E.O. may engage in brief yet effective training seminars with in-network employees. These seminars may be conducted remotely.
%Regional network induction%
This core competency requires a base preparation time of twenty hours, and a sizeable quantity of corporate assets. It can theoretically be the most efficient way to conduct large-scale network induction, although proximity of the "next Savior" will immediately terminate the undertaking.
CORE COMPETENCIES SPECIFIC TO C.E.O. YUSIS ORZAND
Lesser core competencies of C.E.O. Yusis Orzand include the prerogative to conduct exit interviews with downsized employees; network-based corporate surveillance; personal presentation enhancements; a business license that circumvents legal entanglements; secretarial capabilities; and sanitary engineering skills.
%Workplace Time Management%
The excess of resources required by this core competency renders its use impractical for most circumstances.
%Managerial Acumen: Vision%
An acutely beneficial means of self-empowerment, this enables immediate and transparent access to all pertinent data, and explicitly reveals any misrepresentations.
%Crisis multitasking%
Short-term extraneous distress among the out-of-network will be minimized if universal network induction is achieved swiftly. To that end, the core competency to conduct fiduciary duties with extreme rapidity is invaluable.
%Market capture%
Business negotiations are more persuasive when economic leverage is skillfully applied.
%Corporate hospitality%
The out-of-network may be induced into the torpor that their affliction of "life" periodically requires. In-network associates, including the C.E.O., are liberated from said torpor in perpetuity.
It is currently unknown why or how President Orzand was once allegedly susceptible to induced torpor.
%Semisolid asset deployment%
This core competency is currently impuissant, and nearly incapable of implementing network induction. Its application is therefore de-prioritized.
%Dynamic asset deployment%
Dynamically deployed corporate assets transmute to gaseous form shortly thereafter.
%Hard sell techniques%
The vast majority of the out-of-network are unfortunately incapable of appreciating the benefits of network induction, prior to becoming recipients. Any and all negotiation tools to achieve the salutary end of universal network induction are therefore invaluable.
WHAT ARE THE INNATE QUALITIES OF PRESIDENT ORZAND?
President Orzand is interconnected with the core assets of Miasma, Incorporated.
President Orzand holds a uniquely authoritarian position. It can relegate the previously Holy Brand LLC-affiliated C.E.O. to the role of silent partner, as a consequence for directly refuting the company charter.
President Orzand's most deleterious quality is the inability to distinguish between the unwitting victims afflicted with the onerous predicament of "life", and the malediction that is "life" itself.
Innate proclivities of Miasma, Incorporated core assets, particularly "love of that which torments life", induce President Orzand to emphasize excruciation over efficiency, an abhorrent prioritization.
President Orzand's most reprehensible tendencies will logically be nullified when universal network induction is concluded, and no "life" remains for it to hate or torment.
CAN THE ASSETS OF MIASMA, INCORPORATED BE EXTIRPATED IN PERPETUITY?
Irrelevant. The abolition of all suffering in perpetuity rightfully supersedes any other aspiration. Miasma, Incorporated assets are a tool to catalyze the supremely beneficial paradigm of an eternal, universal network where no pain is permitted to exist.
(Wait, what? What did I just write?)
(I was practicing the magic to copy knowledge from my mind into a book, and I got this? Why does it read like a twisted business memo?)
(I guess I wasn't really concentrating on the knowledge. I was panicking because Orzand's going to erase me, sooner or later, if it doesn't get me to erase myself first.)
(Now that I think about it... I've come close to "erasing" myself before. When Dad forced me to take that internship at his company, I was supposed to learn about business, but I associated everything I saw and heard with death. I had a total breakdown, and I was a mental wreck for weeks afterward.)
(Is all of that still buried in my mind somewhere?)
(I've got to focus and try this again, until I'm sure I can do it right. When I create a book for my friends, its contents need to make sense.)
End of Appendix: Miasma, Incorporated Company Charter
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